摘自《泰晤士报》（2008年11月）
———————————————-
1. Adolf Hitler (Schalke 04)
阿道夫希特勒
他是沙尔克04的拥趸。在他的“支持”下，沙尔克在1933-1945年里六次赢得德国联赛冠军。希特勒的首席宣传长官戈培尔如是描述希特勒的想法，“赢下一场比赛，对人们来说，比拿下东边（东欧）的一个镇更加重要。”
不过阿道夫·希特勒只真正看过一场足球赛：1936年8月7日…
Hitler may have bombed Old Trafford, but he wasn’t a Manchester City fan. The Fuhrer had a soft spot for Schalke, who, funnily enough, were German champions six times between 1933 and 1945. “Winning a match,” Joseph Goebbels, Hitler’s propaganda chief, wrote, “is of more importance to the people than the capture of a town in the East.’” He obviously never went to a Norwich-Millwall game.
2. Russell Brand (West Ham United)
Potty-mouthed “comedian” who minces about Upton Park pretending he owns the place. Also writes a pathetic weekly football column in The Guardian and called his autobiography “My Booky Wook”.
3. Jon Gaunt (Coventry City)
We hate to kick a man when he’s down – “Gaunty” was sacked by TalkSPORT recently – but you probably wouldn’t want to sit next to everyone’s least favourite right-wing shock jock at a game.
4. Nick Hornby (Arsenal)
尼克-霍恩比
他的成名作《极度狂热》是一个分水岭…
Before “Fever Pitch” we could pay at the turnstiles, stand on the terraces and watch a fight. After “Fever Pitch” we have to pay £50, sit next to a solicitor and give Sky £40 a month.
5. Osama Bin Laden (Arsenal)
本-拉丁
在巴基斯坦的什么地方，在他藏身的洞穴里，收听到阿森纳又一次输掉比赛的消息后，他气愤地把收音机踢到一边，“这个不信教的混蛋温格！”，他吼叫道：“打倒以色列，打倒美国，打倒托特纳姆！”
In a cave, somewhere in Pakistan, the most wanted man in the world is kicking his battered transistor radio as news reaches him that Arsenal have lost again. “That bloody infidel Wenger,” he wails. “Death to Israel! Death to America! Death to Tottenham!”
6. Robbie Williams (Port Vale)
The man who ruined the build-up to every single professional football game in the world by recording “Let Me Entertain You”.
7. Zeljko “Arkan” Raznatovic (Red Star Belgrade and Obilic)
Serbian paramilitary mass murderer and ethnic cleanser who was indicted by the United Nations on charges of crimes against humanity and acts of genocide before he was assassinated in 2002.
8. Meat Loaf (Hartlepool United)
Mr Loaf has never been to Hartlepool but he was apparently considering moving to Teesside five years ago because he wanted to live near Victoria Park. He’s never been to a game, he likes pies and he’s overweight. Two out of three ‘aint bad.
9. Piers Morgan (Arsenal)
从来不失时机地向世界宣告他热爱阿森纳，但却因为他在周日报纸的专栏中的评论，让球迷们大跌眼镜：“…从04年开始…5年过去了，我们还是一无所有，甚至没有一个可怜的联赛杯。”
但事实是：阿森纳2005年赢得了足总杯。
Never misses a chance to tell the world that he loves Arsenal but spoiled it all by claiming in his Sunday newspaper column that “Arsenal have won precisely nothing since 2004. Not even a Carling bloody Cup.” Arsenal won the FA Cup in 2005.
10. Sean Bean (Sheffield United)
Professional Northerner and former Sheffield United director who is always banging on about how much he loves the Blades. Fell out spectacularly with Neil Warnock, the former United manager, last year. “At a board meeting, he made a big show of how he wanted to make an important point,” Warnock said. “We all waited expectantly and then he said that we should get rid of Captain Blade. That was it. That was all he wanted to talk about. The team mascot. The fluffy thing on the touchline. Captain F**king Blade. That was the extent of his contribution.”