「晶」对「品」说：「你们家都没有装修喔？」
「夫」对「天」说：「我总算盼到了出头之日！」
「熊」对「能」说：「怎麼穷成这样啦？四个熊掌全卖了！」
「丙」对「两」说：「你家什麼时候多了一个人，结婚了？」
「乒」对「乓」说：「你我都一样，一等残废军人。」
「兵」对「丘」说：「兄弟，踩上地雷了吧，两腿炸得都没了？」
「王」对「皇」说：「当皇上有什麽好处？你看，头发都白了！」
「口」对「回」说：「亲爱的，都怀孕这麽久了，也不说一声！」
「也」对「她」说：「当老板罗？出门还带秘书！」
「日」对「旦」说：「你什麼时候学会玩滑板了？」
「果」对「裸」说：「哥们儿，你穿上衣服还不如不穿！」
「由」对「甲」说：「你什麼时候学会倒立了？」
「巾」对「币」说：「戴上博士帽就身价百倍了！」
「口」对「囚」说：「你中央有人也照样进去！」
笑过之后，你会发现几乎每一条都是真理！
的任命已获国会通过，不日将携夫人咳死拉倒（Cuslado）和女儿雾霾 （Woomay）来华履新。
(This may appear to be a joke too far, however, as Baucus does not have a wife or daughter with these names-好像很过分的玩笑，其实，鲍卡斯妻子和女儿的名字与此完全不同。)
澳洲短尾矮袋鼠（Quokka）可能是世界上最快乐的小动物，连睡觉时都在微笑，似乎好梦连篇…
（读者·原创版·2004年·第二期）
小小
小小2岁时，被人称为“小普通人”，因为他有句至理名言：“奶奶说广东话，奶奶是广东人，我说普通话，我是普通人。”
小小3岁时。夏日傍晚，爸妈常带他到附近清华大学校园里玩儿。一天在路上碰上一邻居阿姨。
阿姨问：“小小，上哪儿去呀？”
小小：“上清华大学！”
阿姨打趣道：“哟! 那么小就上大学啦！上什么系呀？”
小小稍加思索：“黄梅戏！”
作为黄梅戏迷的爹妈听后格外欣慰。
小小4岁时。爸爸给哥哥听写生词，小小在一旁玩儿。
爸爸念“玛瑙，…”
小小质疑：“什么玛瑙？豆腐脑吧！”
小小7岁时。来澳洲一年后，他英语和汉语的水平已经差不多了。
一天下雨了，看见屋外一人在溜狗，小小不以为然地说：
“下着雨，还走狗!”。
英文中“溜狗” 是“walk(走) dog(狗)” 。
燕燕
小燕燕3岁了，说汉语常常从英语中直译，时间和地点状语有时也放在句后。比如，“坐在…上”英文中无论是坐在椅子上还是坐在人身上都可通用。于是常听她说：“我看电视要坐妈妈！”之类的话。
吃饭时，爸爸夹了一块肉问她要不要，她一本正经地说：“不谢谢！”
问了几次后才恍然大悟，原来她直译了一句英语中谢绝的礼貌用语：
“No(不), thanks(谢谢)!”
奶奶教了小燕燕一首孟浩然的诗 –“春眠不觉晓…”，在幼儿园，一位华裔老师听她背了这首诗。
老师说：“燕燕真棒！知道这首诗是谁写的吗？”
燕燕回答：“奶奶！”
满头褐色卷发的小燕燕，学了三首古诗后，已会活学活用。
爷爷逗燕燕：“燕燕一头卷毛，爷爷一头白毛”
燕燕似懂非懂：“‘白毛浮绿水’ 啊？”
燕燕不仅会背三首古诗，还学会了为诗改词。
“两个黄鹂鸣翠柳，… ”
第二天改为“两个皇帝…”，
第三天改为“两个狐狸…”
菲菲
菲菲3岁多，在爷爷奶奶的灌输下，中文说得一点儿也不比英语差。几周前，给她买了一辆玩具三轮车，一个小孩骑，后面还可以带一个小小孩儿。她的几个小朋友的爷爷奶奶或爸爸妈妈看到后，也买了同样的车。菲菲不无遗憾地说：“他们家都有两个孩子，我们家就一个。”
奶奶说：“那就让你妈妈再要一个小弟弟吧！”。
菲菲说：“我要嘟嘟！”
嘟嘟是菲菲幼儿园小班的一个中国小男孩儿
奶奶跟爷爷说：“嘟嘟倒是很好玩儿，胖嘟嘟的，一见人就笑。”
菲菲说：“那我们买嘟嘟吧！”
奶奶笑道：“小孩儿不能买，是生下来的，让你妈妈生一个 吧！”
菲菲急了：“妈妈不用生啦，嘟嘟已经在幼儿园了！”
菲菲看见电视里警察把几个人推进囚车。
菲菲问：“警察为什么把他们关起来？”
妈妈：“他们无家可归，是小偷，偷东西了。”
菲菲：“他们都是坏人吧？”
妈妈：“也不都是，有的小偷是因为穷，没有房子住，没有饭吃”
菲菲很同情的样子：“那我长大以后挣钱给小偷买房子！”
前几年翻译了《赤裸的朱丽叶》，发表后最初在亚马逊网上读者多有好评，而豆瓣读书网上，读者反映平平，与自己的估计差不多，有读者链接了以下一首相关的（书迷或歌迷自编的）歌曲《你和你完美的生活》-是书中歌手的成名歌集中的最后一首
(playing time 5:18)
(for iPhone or iPad, click here to play)
You look like the cover of a magazine
A picture of the perfect wife
Here’s another drink to you and your perfect life
I should have seen it, Juliet
We were doomed from the start
But I was blinded by your beauty, and flattered by your charm
We were drunk with love, we had no shame
And I was drawn into you like a moth into a flame
I held you in my arms, but I always knew
That you were someone else’s wife
Well here’s another drink to you and your perfect life
We wound up on a beach somewhere
In a country of our own
So far away we knew they’d never find us
But our luck ran out, your feelings changed
And you left without a single word of kindness
The love you removed left a wound so deep
You might as well have used a knife
Well here’s another drink to you and your perfect life
I see you standing in the doorway
Sunlight singin’ in your hair
But now you tell me I’m in your way
And you say you never cared
Well I called you my lover, and I called you a whore
I drowned in your river, and washed up on your shore
I served every sentence for you, but you ignored
My pleas and my confessions
I crawled through your desert, and I flew through your storms
I cried acid tears until my eyelids were raw
Throwing stones at the window
‘Til he came to the door
So where were you, Mrs. Steven Balfour? *
You’re like so many other women
Sensitive and smart
Who sell their souls for comfort, and for diamonds
But does he thrill your mind, and fill your heart
When you’re walking down the street three steps behind him?
I saw you as an angel of mystery
But you’re just another rich man’s wife
Well here’s another drink to you and your perfect life
Here’s another drink to you and your perfect life
Here’s another drink to you
I hope you’re celebrating too
Here’s another drink to you and your perfect life
Here’s another drink to you and your perfect life
Here’s another drink to you and your perfect life
music by David Palmer / words by David Palmer (except *from Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby)
music and lyrics, except as noted, © 2009 David Palmer
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This is a rough demo of a song inspired by Nick Hornby’s novel Juliet, Naked. It is based on descriptions in the book of the final song on singer/songwriter Tucker Crowe’s legendary breakup album, Juliet, and includes the three lines of lyrics that appear in the novel. It’s a guitar and vocal recording, with a harmonica solo, in the spirit of the demo recorded by Tucker Crowe and released 20 years after the release of Juliet as Juliet, Naked. To hear more of my music, visit not a bus.
这是因尼克-霍恩比的小说《赤裸的朱丽叶》而引发的一首歌的初稿。是书中歌手成名歌集中的最后一首，其中有三行歌词是取自于小说…
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